A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

Just the Tip: The “R” word

GIF by Rachel Edelstein
GIF by Rachel Edelstein

Dating sites offer instant gratification, especially if one is looking for casual sex. While I wade through a sea of endless potential matches, whose primary desire are no-strings-attached encounters, I feel like an outsider for admitting I’m looking for something serious.

I primarily use Tinder even though it has turned into an app for people whose objective is to have non-committal sex. Many of the users aren’t shy about admitting that, which is great for those like me who want to weed through the nonsense.

It amazes me how many people I interact with through sites like Tinder and OkCupid. People I’d never meet in person, nor have the motivation to strike up a conversation without knowing their availability beforehand.

Maybe I should look elsewhere for a serious match, but I continue to use these dating sites despite their lack of similarly-minded people.

With a busy schedule, it’s convenient to use these sites to talk to people. It saves time and effort that could be used better with other things and people.

Coming across people organically, rather than through a screen, is difficult for some people because they may feel more comfortable having a digital barrier.

And that’s a benefit of quick glance apps, you can meet people without the commitment. You can sample who’s out there.

If someone isn’t the right fit you don’t have to wait for a meeting to find that out, nor do you owe awkward apologies for not being interested. It almost desensitizes users to real emotion.

We shouldn’t rely on one source of connection to others because then we’ll limit the type of people we encounter.

Nevertheless, I feel guilty admitting to matches that I’m not looking for just a quick fix. I don’t want some one-time lover that I’ll never get to know beyond their body.

Sometimes I’ll explain what I want in a roundabout way, just to avoid saying flat-out that I want a relationship.

The “R” word has become a taboo among young people. So much so that we don’t know how to create a proper one anymore.

“Situation-ships” and “whatevering” have become the new relationship. These are lax relationships where one, or both, aren’t sure of the situation they are in with a partner. Or the two are just winging it, to let things play out without clarification or definition of the partnership.

In my experience, these modern takes on romance can lead to confusion, unattainable expectations as well as headaches and heartaches.

I, along with many others, want something of substance that brings me more than an orgasm. I want to meet people who can teach me new things, bring me memorable experiences and who can dig deeper intellectually.

When gaining instant gratification no longer satisfies, it’s all a matter of waiting for what’s right. Whether that’s something stumbled upon or sought through the Internet.

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About the Contributor
Chelsea Wood
Chelsea Wood, Opinion Editor
           Chelsea is a journalism major who has been with The Oak Leaf for two semesters and is now the Opinion Editor. She’s completed almost every journalism class and will be graduating SRJC with a journalism certificate Spring 2018. She will transfer to Humboldt State University in the fall to complete here bachelor’s degree. After college she plans on becoming a travel journalist who will cover culture, cuisine, female roles and rights as well as the environmental states of the places she visits.                                                                                                        In her free time she enjoys acrylic painting, some of which she gives away as part of the Sonoma County Instagram event, Free Art Friday an online art scavenger hunt where local artists are able to hide art and post clue pictures for the public to find. She also loves spending time with her four cats; Tofu, Shumai, Loki and Lily as well as crappily singing in the car, shower and pretty much anywhere people aren’t around.

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