A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

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A connected disconnect

Courtesy of Google Images

Dating isn’t the same as it once was.

In a generation wrapped up with technology and fast-paced lives, it’s no wonder relationships for millennials have morphed.

With new apps and dating sites available for download every day, it has become easier for young people to meet others for dates, sexual rendezvous and casual connections. This caused a generation to become disconnected from emotions and connected through sex.

According to the Pew Research Center, 15 percent of adult Americans have tried online dating. If you’ve ever used a dating site or app, you’ve probably realized the majority of users aren’t looking for comittment;  Sex is the main goal.

The digital dating era has constructed a hookup culture. Many of those who are single and seeking aren’t necessarily looking for something beyond sex, and hook up as a way to find chemistry.

Being attracted to someone isn’t just about sexual attraction: this generation’s interactions are based around sexual connections.

We maintain our freedom by avoiding committed relationships and favoring fleeting occurrences. We keep our options open because the next best thing is advertised at our fingertips on apps that bring countless offers.

“It’s not my fault that society has sped up dating to where now you’re f-ing everyone within the first week of knowing them. This is what [has] become acceptable,” said James Rhine, in an interview on the new Netflix Original Series: “Turned On.”

In episode two, “Love Me Tinder,” Rhine, a former reality star of the CBS show “Big Brother 6,” has his dating life documented. He’s shown “ghosting” Tinder dates after getting bored.

Ghosting is cutting off communication with someone without an explanation.

Santa Rosa Junior College student, Brenna MacMillan, 20, a third-year early childhood development major for-transfer, has used Tinder to find a serious relationship and admits to ghosting a match after obnoxious conversations.

“I have only met one person from Tinder. All the other ones seemed a bit too weird. Although, that date didn’t go well either,” MacMillan said.

People who prefer online dating find it easier to disappear when they get tired of someone, rather than explaining their disinterest.

Despite some drawbacks, online dating is ideal for meeting people outside your circle.

“I keep an open mind, however, in general I’m either looking for friends, hookups or something casual,” said SRJC student—Zane Wilder, 21, a first-year psychology major and Grinder user.

It’s not hard to find someone willing to have sex with no strings attached in this hookup culture— it’s hard finding someone who wants more.

But some can establish a lasting connection.

“I ended up in a very serious relationship that started on a dating app,” Wilder said.

Most millennials, however, aren’t ready to settle down:  a 2014 Pew Research Center survey on millennial trends reported only 26 percent of millenials are married.

The endless swiping, liking, messaging and replying causes vertigo, and the back-and-forth motions of hopping one  lover to the next can be tiresome.

We should strive for connections that teach us about ourselves and our partners, but all serious emotions must be left at the foot of the bed when indulging with a new lover.

That’s where I don’t connect with this hookup culture.

There’s a lack of compassion in digital dating and an absence of desire to know someone beyond one’s sexual being. In my experience, people say one thing yet mean another to get what they want with complete disregard for others’ desires.

Although these people don’t want something more wholesome, they continue a hookup lifestyle for personal pleasure without a key aspect: a physical connection can be much more intense when individuals are involved mentally and emotionally.

Those who use online dating sites to find casual sex partners fail to get to know their partners on deeper levels and miss a mind, body and soul experience.

When all are balanced and both partners communicate their full desires, a greater sexual encounter is reached compared to casual sex.

This hookup generation—which is so enthralled with sex and pleasure—does not see what it’s missing out on.

Holistic sex is an impactful alternative to meaningless sex. It doesn’t mean that a relationship will come out of it, though it does mean better sex.

Despite constant connection to the outside world, we remain disconnected from each other.

Courtesy of Google Images
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About the Contributor
Chelsea Wood, Opinion Editor
           Chelsea is a journalism major who has been with The Oak Leaf for two semesters and is now the Opinion Editor. She’s completed almost every journalism class and will be graduating SRJC with a journalism certificate Spring 2018. She will transfer to Humboldt State University in the fall to complete here bachelor’s degree. After college she plans on becoming a travel journalist who will cover culture, cuisine, female roles and rights as well as the environmental states of the places she visits.                                                                                                        In her free time she enjoys acrylic painting, some of which she gives away as part of the Sonoma County Instagram event, Free Art Friday an online art scavenger hunt where local artists are able to hide art and post clue pictures for the public to find. She also loves spending time with her four cats; Tofu, Shumai, Loki and Lily as well as crappily singing in the car, shower and pretty much anywhere people aren’t around.

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