Disconnect

Maria+Isabel+Maga%C3%B1a+is+a+prospective+SRJC+nursing+student.

Photo by Maria Isabel Magaña

Maria Isabel Magaña is a prospective SRJC nursing student.

Maria Isabel Magaña, Special to the Oak Leaf

 

Day 50 of being tucked away,

where my thoughts run rampant.

I used to wish for days as quiet as the night.

Is it too late to take that back?

“Shelter in Place”, “Safer at Home”

Logic understands why.

But not everything is logical, and my brain entertains the fear. 

Waves of grief threaten to swallow me whole. 

Did I wash my hands for a full 20 seconds?

What is the pain in my chest every time I take a deep breath? 

Keep 6 feet apart! 

Social distancing:

I’ve been trying to do it right, and  

depression congratulates me:

 

I’ve been preparing for this my entire life!

Three things we can do: Go on a walk, clean out our closets, and bake banana bread.

I went on a walk and thought of the people dying alone in hospitals.

I cleaned out my closet and ran into old memories of a life I let go.

I baked banana bread and cried eating it alone. 

  I feel my heart arrhythmically dance and realize that there is

no place to hide,

no place to run.

For a moment the world is loud, and I face the fear. 

Maria Isabel Magaña

May 2020