American puberty

Travis LaBrucherie, Distribution Manager

The United States of America is 240 years old. It’s an adult. But with the election of Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton, the country is acting more like a teenager, and aren’t teenagers the worst?

With the election’s outcome, it’s like my teenager did something wrong and now I’m dealing with the repercussions. So it’s time that America and I have a little talk.

So I send America to its room, I sit America down and say, “Are you high!? What was going on in your head that made you think this decision was all right? You know better than that.”

Then comes the classic parenting line: “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”

We’ve all heard that one. Which is what I truly am—disappointed in how far we’ve come as a nation, only to take one giant leap back.

We’d raised America to be accepting. It didn’t matter what gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, class or nationality people were. We were striving for equality. We were on our way.

I don’t believe every Trump supporter is either a racist, sexist, homophobe or bully. But I do believe that most of them are ignorant of how this election’s outcome affects most people.

Thoughts start to come to my mind. What will our neighbors—Mexico and Canada—think? How are we going to explain this to our friends and family? I don’t want that troublemaker Putin hanging around…

Then I realize it’s only four years. It’s like high school. Four years of Donald Trump High. Then maybe America can grow up. In four years America can look back at this and laugh and realize how silly and immature we were.

That is, as long as we are still around and haven’t nuked the planet.