A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

Just the Tip: Communication

Any healthy and successful relationship is built on communication. Poor communication can lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction, ultimately ending the relationship.

Communication and sex go hand in hand. If you’re unable to tell your partner what you need to achieve orgasm- dirty talk, scratching, anal pleasure, amongst others- how can you expect to be satisfied? Your partner isn’t a mind reader.

Being vocal about what gets you going is the fastest and easiest way to get to the peak of sexual pleasure. Sit down with your partner and let them know exactly what they’re doing that you do and don’t like.

Also, talk to them about where you like to be touched. Showing them where is an additional way to help their understanding.

Opening that line of communication and conversation can be difficult for some in the beginning. Your partner could have more or less experience in the bedroom than you and that could feel intimidating. And that’s the perfect place to start.

Letting them know their experience level makes you feel inadequate or scared opens the airspace to a healthy talk. It may just turn out that your partner may also share those feelings about you, particularly if you are the one with the tales of sexcapades.

Speaking about your body is also necessary. You need to be open with your partner about your body insecurities. Maybe it’s the stretch marks on your thighs or the way your hip bones jut out that make you feel less than confident. Telling someone about your struggles with total body acceptance is tricky, but we’ve all been there or will be there at some point.

You want your partner to celebrate your body, every inch of it, even if you don’t. If your partner criticizes you for your insecurities, ditch them and run far away. Any person that condemns you or criticizes your body is not the one for you.

Make sure that you also listen when your partner approaches you about sex. Communication is a two way street. It isn’t all about you and it isn’t all about them. Being an active listener and communicator makes for a higher chance for success in your relationship.

If you’re unable to talk about sex and your body with the person you’re sleeping with, should you really be sleeping with them?

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