Walking a mile in another girl’s pants

Tommy Dennen, Staff Writer

You see girls wearing yoga pants a lot. Believe it or not boys, it’s not just for you. So if it’s true that girls don’t just wear leggings because they look great to us, I had to figure out why they keep wearing them, so I took a spin in the driver’s seat. I wore a pair of leggings.

Right off the bat, the benefits were apparent. “Look at this range of motion,” I thought to myself as I lifted my knees up to my chest and rotated my bent, air born leg around in multiple planes. I did a step lunge with ease and welcoming comfort. I sat down, and crossed my leg up effortlessly.

The problem was, I had just tried these pants on a whim; they weren’t mine— and I showed up in the wrong wardrobe: I was wearing boxers. That was pretty much the only thing holding me back. You could see the wrinkles from my boxers through the yoga pants, and it was the only thing taking away from how flattering they were to my legs— I run a lot and play hockey so I loved the opportunity to live the “sky’s-out-thigh’s-out” lifestyle, while still somehow wearing pants. I didn’t get to spend the whole day with them, but I was put on to some great pro’s that made me even more inclined to get my first pair: you can wear them all day and just hop in bed— they double as pants and pajamas. They’re soft; if you’re tactile and want to touch them all day, it’s nice. Also, they’re stretchy, so if you eat two burritos, instead of one like I do occasionally, you’re fine.

Then I reached for my phone, it wasn’t in my pocket, because didn’t have a front pocket. I didn’t have a back pocket either… where is my wallet? I started to panic. I don’t carry a purse, even though I’m comfortable enough with myself to give leggings an unbiased perspective, I’m not really interested in carrying a purse, I’m still a dude.

Unless I’ve got my backpack, I can’t carry the essentials while maintaining the yoga-pant profile. A female colleague suggested stashing my phone in the waistband. That worked for a while, but I had to lift my shirt up to get it, and sometimes it wiggled down— not the best option. Someone brought up wearing a fanny pack, but I left mine in 1994. Also for guys, if you’re going to wear leggings, you’re used to resting your pants at least slightly below your boxer –line; and this can cause itchy tag situation unless you wear the right briefs or compression underwear, since yoga pants usually rest right above a girl’s panty line.

I’d love to be completely immune to the fashion tendencies of others, but I can’t honestly say that after this experience I’ll be rocking my own running pants or leggings to school, because the benefits don’t outweigh the costs for me yet. I just want to have my phone and wallet where I’m used to them, even though I might feel more restrained in the jeans and pants I wear normally.

On a day where I’m lounging around inside for a while, I’m thinking of investing, because the feeling of skin-tight, go-anywhere comfort you get with leggings makes you feel just slightly more prepared for spontaneous activity than you do with some flowy pajamas or sweat pants that often influence you to behave slightly more lethargically. As for the number of times that I’d have a day to lounge around, there aren’t many, so I might steal you girls’ yoga pants. Also, I steal a lot of hair ties because I don’t buy my own, so if your girlfriend is low, it might be my fault. I’m hoping this quasi-asexual look at yoga pants gives me some karmic relief though, because now I don’t blame girls for wearing them 6 days out of 7. They’re comfy as hell— and let’s be honest— it’s within your gender expectations to wear them AND get to carry a purse for all the extras. So rock on yoga pants. I see you now, I’m actually jealous. I wish I could start the fashion revolution myself, but I’ll wait around to ease into the male inclination to rock these fashionable and functional trousers.