Just the Tip: Beautiful as you feel


Carin Huber, Opinion Editor

Millions of Americans suffer from poor body image. Media reports 70-80 percent of women and 40-80 percent of men view their bodies negatively . Poor self-image is an immense problem and leads to an intense lack of confidence.

One of poor body image’s biggest impacts is on sex life. Some people refuse to undress in front of another person with the lights on. Some feel so unattractive they never consider asking someone for a date. Some even reject advances from others, believing their suitors can’t be serious, or a relationship couldn’t last beyond the first time things get sweaty.

Let it go. Every body is sexy to someone. Whether you have no waist to speak of, your thighs are thick, your belly big, your chest flat or any other “flaw” you think you have, there are people who find you attractive. Maybe it’s regardless of your self-perceived shortcomings. More likely it’s because of it.

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As you can see in the above photo, I weigh more than 300 pounds. I’m not especially large-breasted for my size. I have lumps and bumps in all the “wrong” places. I am the opposite, if there is such a thing, of the American beauty ideal. And I have multiple long-term lovers, each of whom loves my body.

One runs his hands all over me, exulting at my softness.  Another enjoys how my hanging belly, my least favorite part of my body, fits in his hands. Not one of them treats me as an object or anything less than a whole person, seeing to it that I enjoy our play as much as they do.

There will be those who don’t find you attractive, no matter how you look. My ex-wife, who was around my size, once had a lover who confessed that she wasn’t as big as he would have liked. He described it as settling for pizza when he would prefer lasagna.

There will also be those who view you as only a sex object, fetishizing whatever part of you they crave. They are often obvious, and you will immediately get a creepy vibe from them. Others may be more subtle about it, but you will pick up on the fact sooner or later.

Ignore the jerks. Get rid of the creeps. Don’t be anyone’s “pizza” and refuse to be treated as a body part. You are a whole person, and you deserve better.

Your body is beautiful. Your body is sexy. You are more than good enough. Own it.