Ask Willow: Alone

GIF by Rachel Edelstein

GIF by Rachel Edelstein

The Oak Leaf Staff

Dear Willow,

I don’t like online dating, but I’m trying to find someone. How do people meet each other in real life these days?



Dear Alone,

Although online dating is convenient and simple, it can also be shallow and emotionally draining. People get into online dating for different reasons, and it can be tough to tell if someone wants a one-night fling or a lasting relationship through a chat screen. There are plenty of ways to meet new people without resorting to Tinder or OkCupid.

The first step to finding someone is to make yourself findable. While walking around campus, keep your eyes up and your ears open. Walking around sucked into your phone with earbuds on makes you look unapproachable. And, you might walk right past someone who would’ve caught your eye, had you not been religiously checking your Snapchat.

I’d suggest joining a campus club. From Feminists United, EcoLeaders, Anime, LGBTQ and even Laughter club, there’s bound to be one that you’ll identify with. Clubs offer great opportunities to meet new people of like-minds. If romance doesn’t result from any new connections, new friends are always a benefit.

If you are into any hobbies, go to a social event. Runner? Go find a local group run, or run at a public track or park instead of the gym. Artist? Go to one of the JC’s art exhibits. Finding someone with a common interest can make breaking the ice easier. And, sharing a hobby gives you an easy option for a first date.

If your funds can support it, plan a solo trip somewhere. You never know who you’ll meet along the way, but it’s worth trying.

Some people marry out of high school while some don’t find their soul mates until later in life. As long as you’re putting yourself out there, the right one will come along. It’s only a matter of time. Remember to be patient and don’t get discouraged.

Happy dating!