Four band members from San Diego moved in together with a new friend in Santa Rosa. Noel Lugo, Will Greathead, Nikki Bates and “Samwise” were friends since high school, so it made sense to live together when they moved north. Fast forward three months and the scene had changed. The house was divided, Nikki and Noel on the side of people who paid rent with Will, Sam and Ashlita Zapata, a girl they moved in with in Santa Rosa, on the side who didn’t.

“It got weird. We didn’t like each other and everyone was being extra distant,” Noel said.

For three months Will, Sam and Ashlita promised to pay rent and for three months they didn’t. Finally, after debating whether or not to kick their friends out, a night of drama decided it for them. Yelling broke out throughout the house. Threats of violence erupted then intensified, until eventually Noel and Nikki found themselves waiting at the entrance to the apartment buildings with bats while Will, Sam and Ashlita remained in the building. Three days later Will, Sam and Ashlita moved out. Six years of friendship ended because they couldn’t take care of their finances.

“It was like losing family members,” Noel Lugo said, “but we were kicking them out for the greater good. They were just bringing us down.”

Young adults in their first years of college often find themselves in situations with similarly disrespectful roommates. Having a roommate who parties too much, doesn’t pay rent or just doesn’t get along with you can be a big obstacle to college success. So how do you pick a roommate that won’t hold you back? According to Lugo, two major factors lead to successful living situations: financial stability for all parties involved and similar schedules and lifestyles.

That theme resounds in many failed roommate situations: the binge drinker partying on school nights, the deadbeat who’s always late on the rent or the roommate who refuses to cooperate. Often it seems rooming with a friend can lead to some of these problems and exasperate ones that exist or develop. “It’s a different dynamic [when you live with someone] because you see them all the time,” says Mischa Lopiano, roommate and student at SRJC. “When you live with someone they’re like family and you trust them. It’s hard to cut someone like that out of your life.”

Choosing a roommate who isn’t a friend might be the best way to go. “A lot of people have different comfort levels and expectations,” said Karissa Anderson, roommate and esthetician. She advocates choosing roommates based on what direction they are headed in life. Your lifestyles need to match up, and if you’re driven and motivated, they should be too. If you match up well enough, you might even get a friend out of it.
Lugo would agree. Choosing a roommate “depends on what your lifestyle is geared towards. If you’re going to school, make sure they can accommodate that. It helps the flow of the house.”