Dating. The concept seems simple enough. Yet many of us struggle to find a compatible match. But what is the cause of this struggle? Or is it a unique and personal pessimism that has led me to this unfounded conclusion? I decided to seek answers from fellow college students. My goal was simple, yet challenging: to explore dating among those of us racing tirelessly to educate ourselves; to find out how people “tread the waters” and whether their tactics prove successful.

One of the first responses I got wasn’t all that shocking: students don’t have time to date. Paul Grijalva, an SRJC nursing student, expressed his disappointment in being too busy to actively date. “I am single, but I just don’t have time to date. Being in the nursing program, I’m studying all the time,” he said. “I practically live at the JC and because of it, my social life takes a big hit. It’s a drag.”

SRJC sophomore Randy Spagnola expressed a similar sentiment. “To be honest, I’m not actively pursuing. If something comes along, that’s cool. If it doesn’t, I don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’m at the JC for school. I can’t afford the emotional swing or the time of a relationship.”

It should go without saying that many college students possess carefully thought out priorities, and it appears that, for at least some, dating is not high on the list. But that’s not the only thing that gets in the way of asking someone out, according to Spagnola. “I guess the hardest part is just gauging the other person’s intentions, or their views. You might be setting it up as a date, but you don’t know what they’re thinking,” he explained. “You never know if someone just wants to find another friend, or if they’re interested in an actual relationship.”

Personal insecurities serve as a roadblock as well, according to SRJC sophomore Roxanne Squires. “Everyone has insecurities when it comes to getting to know someone intimately,” she said. “I’ve had bad experiences with other guys. Past experiences can get in the way of pursuing a new relationship. I think that’s pretty typical.”

Despite having been dealt a bad hand in the past, Squires seems to be at peace and remains confident that a relationship will form naturally. “I have a lot of close friends who are in long-term relationships, so I know it’s possible,” she said. “I’m young and it’s going to take time. I have other priorities.”

Despite a heavy workload, some students do find the time to date. According to SRJC sophomore Allison F., engaging in conversation with fellow classmates can be a potential path to dating. She admits, however, that finding mutual interest is key; a task that can prove difficult in the classroom. For Allison, finding someone with a common interest is more likely to happen at a concert or music festival. Bars are the last place she’d look. “I go to bars, but I try to avoid dating people from there,” she said. “It seems like everyone at the bar turns out to be crazy.”

Austen Berry, a junior attempting to work her way into the SRJC nursing program, expressed a similar sentiment towards the bar scene. Despite meeting her current boyfriend at a bar, she credits the introduction to a mutual friend. “I feel like the bar never really works,” she said. “It wouldn’t have worked with a stranger, but because we had a mutual friend, it did.”

Michael Palumbo, an SRJC sophomore, also made a connection through a mutual friend. Him and his girlfriend both attend SRJC, but didn’t realize it when they met. “We didn’t plan anything,” he said. “It just kind of happened.”

Though he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend at the time, the couple became exclusive a month or two after meeting. Despite the unexpected relationship, Palumbo is more than content. “I was happy where I was at, but now I’m even happier,” he said.

After getting a feel for the SRJC dating scene, I wanted to go further and find out if any of the people I talked to had used or ever considered using the less traditional approach of online dating. After all, according to the popular Match.com, 1 in 5 of today’s relationships begin online. To my surprise, I encountered a real lack of enthusiasm for this approach.

Kevin Martinez, a sophomore at Sierra College, uses Facebook, but only to keep in touch with people he already knows. “I’m not against online dating services,” he said. “I just haven’t ever tried them.”

Squires purposefully avoids sites like Match.com and eHarmony. “No, I don’t do that,” she said. “I don’t trust the Internet to meet people. You can pretend to be someone else online, so you can never really know who you’re talking to.”

Imagining I would discover a variety of insider strategies for landing dates, I originally hoped to use the information to my advantage and try certain tactics out myself. Instead, I seemed to encounter only students who have too much going on in their lives to date. Among those I interviewed, the consensus seems to suggest a “go with the flow” approach. If something happens, it happens.

Between studying, working, exams, and all the other stresses of college life, perhaps going with the flow is all we can afford right now.