Top five best date DVDs

1. “Sleepless in Seattle” – For a movie where the leads rarely share screen time, it’s hard to deny the charm of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan together. Just ignore the stalker premise.

2. “Amélie” – Show some class with this French charmer about a quirky Parisian girl who finds true love while performing random acts of kindness. Don’t shy away from the subtitles; they’re part of the experience.

3. “Up!” – The love story might seem finished after the first 15 minutes, but the theme reverberates throughout the adventure story that follows. If you both aren’t brought to tears by Pixar’s excellent storytelling, you need to re-examine your life.

4. “Singin’ in the Rain” – Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds and Donald O’Connor dazzle in this god among classic musicals. Even if you hate musicals, you will love this movie.

5. “Shortbus” – The explicit nature of the film may not be for everyone, but the underlying narrative is heartfelt and speaks to a multitude of modern relationships. If you can watch this movie, your bond is rock solid.

Top five worst date DVDs

1. “Human Centipede” – Riding on the coattails of torture-porn films like “Saw” and “Hostel,” this film ups the grotesquery by surgically attaching people from the lower intestine of one to the mouth of another. Try kissing your date after that.

2. “Teeth” – The teenage spokeswoman for a teen abstinence group discovers she has teeth in her lady bits. At least three penises get bitten off during the course of the movie. ‘Nuff said.

3. “Tetsuo, The Iron Man” – This surreal film from underground Japanese director Shinya Tsukamoto features a man slowly turning into a collection of machines after he and his girlfriend commit murder. If the violence doesn’t kill the mood, the disturbing, machinery-themed sex scene will.

4. “Antichrist” – Lars Von Trier’s controversial film is about a couple (Willem DeFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) dealing with the death of their young child. There’s no way to salvage this one, since the baby dies in the first few minutes while the couple has sex.

5. “Shortbus” – The explicit nature of the film can spell death for a budding relationship. The supremely uncomfortable 10 minutes before you shut off the movie will be followed by another 10 minutes of awkwardly ending the date.