“Oh baby, f*** me harder! Oh! Oh!!”

Phrases like this are probably what you think of when dirty talk comes up. A big-breasted, overly eye-lined blonde and a tribal-tattooed buff bald guy getting their freak on and yelling obscenities at each other is dirty talk, but it can also take less intimidating forms.

Many have fantasized about saying something sexy during intimate interactions. Some may have already given it a try. But this is the real world, not some superficial porno. So what do you say?

Consent is essential for any intimate interaction. Communicate with whomever is involved. Find out what words they like and don’t like. Some people might be disgusted with words like “vagina” or “penis.” Perhaps they prefer their parts referred to as a “flower” instead of vagina or “lingam” in place of penis.

Dirty talk is supposed to turn you on, not be an awkward exchange of words during sex. Start with what feels comfortable and explore from there.

There’s a spectrum to talking dirty, from porno-style mantras to whispering sweet nothings. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be restricted to hardcore banging – it can also be soft-core sensual speech.

Talking dirty can feel intimidating, but it’s nothing more than saying what’s happening, giving a compliment or verbalizing what you want or like out loud.

The little things can sometimes be the biggest turn-ons; it’s all in how you say it. If you’re going to say anything, be authentic. Don’t force it.

If conjuring up a reply is too much in the heat of the moment, a seductive moan can let your partner know you’re enjoying them; otherwise verbalize gracefully if the phrase is disliked.

For verbal sex play to be enjoyable there needs to be consent and established boundaries. That consent is a sacred contract of trust; what happens behind closed doors does not reflect how someone wants to be spoken to in general or even how they want to be talked to during sex all the time.

Find out what gets you going, share it with your partner and have fun.