Sister Sparkle Plenty sat in front of her laptop, heartbroken from the news. Reports of suicide after suicide popped up in her Facebook feed, alerting her of the 29 teenagers who took their lives due to anti-gay bullying in September. The 29 teenagers represent an issue that has been happening for hundreds of years in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender [LGBT] community, according to the Sister. With the media bringing the issue out of the shadows, she thought it was time to make a call for action. “Somebody’s gotta do something,” Sister Sparkle Plenty thought. “Well, why don’t I do something?”
And so she did. She recruited her fellow Russian River Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to host a candlelight vigil and march. Turns out, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence orders around the country had the same idea and hosted similar events in memory of the lost LGBT youth. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence is a group of men and women who do charity work for LGBT individuals and their local communities. It was founded in 1979 in San Francisco and orders have since sprouted up worldwide.
The Russian River Sisters held their vigil, “Oct. 10 Day of Mourning,” in the heart of Gay History Month, one day before National Coming Out Day and two days before the 12th anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s murder. The Sisters, who can be typically seen sporting their colorful interpretations of nun attire to symbolize their commitment to the Russian River community, opted for a more solemn translation of the religious guise. They traded in their whimsical ensemble for formal black gowns and white veils to better suit the occasion. Their white veils, known as the veils of tears, had the names of the teenagers who were victims of suicide written on them. More than 50 attendees were invited to write messages on the veils of tears dedicated to those who were lost. On Oct. 30, the veils of tears will be incorporated into the Sisters’ Hallowmas event to honor the dead, said Sister DeManda Refund. At midnight, the veils will be ceremoniously burned and the ashes will be added to the Sisters’ glitter jars to be used in future rituals, “thus, the honoring of the Hallowmas altar and the veils of tears will continue for many years to come.”
The vigil-goers came from all over Sonoma County and beyond to show their support. At dusk, they huddled around the Sisters in Guerneville’s Safeway parking lot, making final preparations before the opening ceremony began. The guests busied themselves with lighting candles and pinning yellow ribbons onto their shirts in support of suicide awareness.
With little introduction or explanation, the Sisters began the ceremony by reading various poems and prayers relating to mourning of the dead and the importance of standing up for your community members. Sister Sparkle Plenty stood in the bed of a pickup truck and addressed the crowd with determination and poise. She read a prayer to the queer youth.
“Protect us from the earth defilers. Protect our queer youth from the bullies, the abusers, the name callers, the bigots, the persecutors… Now in this hour of our need, hear our plea! Banish the hate! Drive out the bigots! End the persecution! Restore our hearts! Give us peace, that we may dwell together in serenity!” She then read the 22 names of teenagers who commited suicide. After each name was called, the vigil goers said “rest in peace” and held up a white sign with that person’s name on it.
Afterwards, five Sisters performed a piece by Pastor Martin Niemöller showing what happens when you don’t speak out for each other. “They came first for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist,” said Sister Sara Femme to the crowd.
“Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew,” Sister DeManda Refund yelled out.
“Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist,” Novice Sister Maya Magination called out.
“Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant,” said Sister Scarlet Billows.
“And then they came for me, and by that time, no one was left to speak up,” Sister Coppah Feel proclaimed.
It was now time to march. Father Bertha De Zoot led the procession. Marchers followed his white cross decorated with the words “stop the violence” and photos of the teenagers who took their lives. In quiet solidarity, the Sisters and vigil-goers walked the streets of Guerneville with their candle flames flickering in the wind. Many passersby politely asked what was going on, while cars honked at the procession. Finally, they reached Sonoma Nesting Company for the closing ceremony.
Novice Sister Prudence Improper banged the drum strapped around her shoulders to break the silence. While she banged the drum, her fellow Sisters released three white doves into the night sky. Sisters Saviour Applause and DeManda Refund folded an American rainbow flag and presented it to a surprised Greg Miraglia, who is a board member of the Matthew Shepard Foundation. The Sisters asked him to give the flag to Shepard’s parents and brother.
The Sisters surprised the crowd with the naming of their order’s first guardian angel. They decided to bestow Matthew Shepard with the honor. “We do so to thank him and honor him for the strength and unity that his memory has brought to the Russian River,” Sister Sparkle Plenty said to the vigil attendees.
SRJC student Rodney Ruppert was glad he was able to attend the vigil. “I haven’t been to a candlelight vigil before, so I thought this was something that was definitely needed because I have been following the news about all the bullying and teen suicides, which caught my attention greatly,” he said.
Jen Lyson, another SRJC student who attended the vigil thought it was very powerful, and she was impressed with the turnout. “It makes me very proud to be a new member of this community, because I just moved here a year ago,” she said.
The vigil came to a close while Sister Sparkle Plenty wondered to herself what the world is going to look like without the teenagers who took their lives. “What if Seth or Caleb or Holly had been this brilliant mathematician or become a brilliant doctor and founded the breakthrough for the AIDS cure? What have we lost by losing these kids?”
If you feel like it’s the end of the world, the most important thing to know is that there are people out there who are more than happy to help you. You just need to seek out:
The Trevor Lifeline: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386)
– Call toll free 24/7 nationwide for urgent help from a trained counselor specialized in LGBT issues.
Social Advocates for Youth (SAY) Crisis Hotline: 1-800-544-3299
SAY Main Office: 3440 Airway Drive, Suite E, Santa Rosa, CA 95403, 707-544-3299, [email protected]
– SAY is a Sonoma County based organization focused on youth and young adults. They offer a wide range of resources including housing for homeless youth, crisis intervention programs and counseling.
Positive Images: 312 Chinn Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404-4337, Phone/Fax: 707-568-5830, [email protected]
– Positive Images provides support and advocacy to Sonoma County’s LGBTQQI youth.
SRJC Student Psychological Services: Santa Rosa Campus: 707-527-4445, Race Building, Room 4017, Petaluma Campus: 707-778-3919, Richard Call Building, Room 610.
– SRJC provides free drop-in and scheduled psychological services. Call for details.
Russian River Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence: www.rrsisters.org
– Feel free to e-mail a Sister if you are in need. S
he will gladly direct you to resources and services and give you her undivided attention.
