When I moved to Portland I was welcomed by over 70 microbreweries, a mere 600 different food carts and a few hundred artisan coffee shops. Clearly, I chose the right place to move. But within this fabulous food mecca I was thrown into a subculture I’m sure many of you are familiar with: the ever-hated hipster.
I’m proud to present the best chocolate chip cookie recipe you’ve probably never even heard of before. So good it may cause you to like hipsters a bit more.
Before you preheat your oven, dig through your vinyl record collection and throw on The Smiths. This will help set the baking mood.
Super Expensive and Hard to Find Ingredients (Don’t be fooled, hipsters are not poor even though they sometimes look like they’re homeless)
-2 1/2 cups almond flour (because let’s face it, all purpose is too mainstream)
-1 teaspoon baking soda
-1 teaspoon Himalayan sea salt -1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
(artisan hand churned)
-3/4 cup granulated sugar
-3/4 cup packed brown sugar
-1 teaspoon vanilla extract
-2 large organic free range eggs
from your chicken coop you built in your backyard (eggs from your neighbors hand built chicken coop will be okay too, but only if the coop is hand built)
-2 cups semi-sweet chocolate morsels
-3 strips bacon (by adding bacon to this recipe there is a chance you will offend some of your vegan/ vegetarian friends, but it is a delicious risk I think you should be willing to take)
-1⁄2 cup brown sugar
-Pinch of cinnamon
-1/3 cup Pabst Blue Ribbon (the hipster drink of choice)
PREHEAT oven to 375° F.
Bacon Crispin’
Dip bacon slices in the brown sugar/cinnamon mixture to coat, and arrange in a single layer on a baking sheet.
Bake 9 minutes in the preheated oven, turning once, until dark golden brown.
Take out of the oven and let cool. Then chop into tiny bits to sprinkle on cookies later.
Cookie Time
Combine flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl.
Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in your vintage kitchen aid mixer you found at that nifty thrift store around the block, until creamy.
Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
Gradually beat in flour mixture.
Slowly add PBR while mixing on low. Stir in your chips. Don’t over mix here, nobody likes foamy beer.
Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
Bake for 9-11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.
These cookies can make a great nondenominational holiday gift for a friend, co-worker or that barista from the coffee shop that made you the best latte you’ve ever had with a swirled heart in the foam. So what are you waiting for? Instagram your final masterpiece, pack these puppies in your bag, jump on your fixed gear and go deliver ‘em!
