A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

A student-operated publication at Santa Rosa Junior College.

The Oak Leaf

Just the tip: Polyamory, more than multiple lovers

Just+the+tip%3A+Polyamory%2C+more+than+multiple+lovers

Cookie cutter monogamous relationships are running rampant in American culture; The idea of “the one” tricking lovers into exclusive partnerships when there are so many fish in the sea. Some people may very well be “wired” for monogamy and for others it seems unreasonable to suppress the laws of attraction to only one person.

Polyamory, or poly relationships, aren’t “swinging,” “open” or cheating. Poly is consensual, honest and compassionate connections between three or more people in which all parties are informed of the relationship(s) status.

It’s not about having more sexual partners, it’s about having more romantic connections. The notion that once you are in a relationship it becomes immoral to so much as bat eyes with another person is ludicrous. In poly relationships the option is open to explore new connections outside of the one already engaged in.

Poly relationships can take many different forms and the guidelines of each are decided by those involved. It could be that only one partner has other partners or both do or some sort of love triangle or square. Whatever the case, it has to be agreed upon by everyone.

If you sleep with other people and you don’t tell your partner or its not part of your agreement, that’s cheating just like in any other relationship. The only way that a poly relationship can work is by a solid foundation of honesty and trust. The same goes for any romantic affair, but when more people are involved there is a higher potential for miscommunication.

Everyone needs to feel special and loved by their partner(s) and even so someone will become jealous at some point or another. Only through clear communication and understanding of each others’ needs and desires can this be resolved.

Being in a poly relationship doesn’t mean when the going gets rough with one lover you skip over to the next. It is a committed partnership like any other, only there are two or more people being committed to. When done properly everyone involved is getting their needs met and builds a deeper connection with their partner(s).

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